I haven't posted since Institute ended. I haven't posted since school started. I can't really. I can't because I don't know how to describe it. I don't know how to put into words how I'm feeling or what's going on. I don't even know if I've processed all of it yet. I think I'm processing it by vomiting, stomach aches that curb appetites, and lots of tears. I will write about it once I get a grip on things. I'll say this though. Sometimes I feel like it's a huge wave of responsibility that is going to crush me, and other times I feel like I have a handle on it. That it can be done because it's been done before. These emotions shift back and forth about 20 times a day. Until I come to terms with my situation, here's how I've been avoiding using time in any useful way.

-Facebook, obvs. Look at photo albums you've already looked at 5 times. See if you can notice anything new. Revel in how attractive your friends are.
-Stumble Upon. The devil. Biggest time sucker of all time
-Call people you haven't talked to in awhile. This actually makes you feel better at first, until you look at the clock and realized you spent hours on the phone instead of making any progress.
-Watch bad VH1 television. Realize Bret Michaels is a nice guy, but needs to lose the head scarf.
-Clean your room. Productive, but in an unnecessary way.
-Panic because you have nothing done and it's 1:00 a.m. This includes pacing and laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do instead of actually, like, sitting down and fucking doing something.
-Panicking is often followed by passing out in all your clothes and then waking up at 5:30 a.m. swearing and freaking out.