I know two posts in one day is excessive, but I figured the two of you that read this would find this amusing. As I told Maciej earlier, as retribution for making boys my best friends for the last two years, the universe has seen fit to provide me with the girliest roommates I have ever encountered. They're wonderful, all of them, and hilarious, but also crazy. There is boy watching pretty much all hours of the day, and there is currently a bet where the first person to make out with someone gets her drinks bought for her by the other for the rest of the night. When calling a landlord tonight, my roommate told him to use her number for "business or pleasure." They've been talking about the "sex diet" and bringing home guys. They've already made alot of guy friends here. They're so outgoing and friendly and fun to be around, but so totally different from me. Which, in truth, is kind of nice. Even though I lived with girls in college, they were the complete opposite of this. They were anything but girly girls. My TFA roommates are currently planning on watching episodes of Sex and the City tonight (one of them owns the entire series). They're also talking about going down to Wall Street bars to meet men to take care of them for awhile. They're not obnoxious though, not yet anyways. I actually find them really enjoyable, and they're so nice it's impossible to not like them. Since I mostly sit back in awe of these girls (for the outrageous comments and behavior) and don't say too much, I've been pegged as the laid back one, which I suppose is true. They've also taken to calling me "Peanut" and they are currently in search of my "Butter." Because really, that's all I need right now.

Today we learned that in New York City, ther are 1.1. million students. Of that 1.1 million, 65% of students are reading and doing math on grade level. Of the African-American and Latino children, 55% are reading/doing math on grade level. Of the ELL students (english language learners), 16% are reading/doing math on grade level.

All of my students are ELL students.

Today we went to a panel discussion where a corps member who had just completed his first year told us that at the institute (where I'm spending the next 5 weeks) does not in fact, teach you how to teach. Instead, we will struggle everyday with trying to figure out what the hell we are doing, and we will indeed fail regularly. At that point, the room went silent and we all looked terrified. The moderator tried to lighten the tone and reassure us but at this point it's clear: we're fucked.

On the plus side, everyone is ridiculously absurdly insanely nice. It's strange going back to a setting where you don't know anyone and you're constantly reminding yourself that your first impression is all you have. It's hard to be that self aware all of the time.

Sometimes I forget that the universe doesn't hate me. Sometimes it likes me.

I have a single room.

It's 11:30 and I stopped packing an hour ago to sit down and do the readings I was supposed to start in May. The fact that I have done only a minimal amount of the required readings makes me worried not that I'll be unprepared come Monday, but more so that it's a sign I'm not capable of taking on all the work I'm about to be faced with. If I'm too lazy/distracted/uninterested in reading this material, how will I become motivated enough to do everything that will be required of me come August? The more reading I do, the more I realize how much work I'm going to have to do, and what's really expected of me. I can't even quite comprehend right now how challenging this is going to be. There's so much involved. I'm getting less anxious of meeting my roommates and all of that bullshit tomorrow and becoming increasingly panicked that in about two months I'm going to be standing in front of a class of 25 high schoolers desperately trying to fake some sort of competence.